My husband lent a large amount of money to his ex-lover, should I find her to get it back?

I got married in 2015, so far my husband and I have 2 children together. My family life is quite peaceful, my husband is a man who is wholeheartedly devoted to the family, I have never had doubts or lack of satisfaction about him. I realized that my husband has many positive points that few other men have.

My husband is a businessman, so everything for my family’s economic development depends on my husband and let him make all the decisions. I also work, earn a salary and contribute to my small family. My husband is the family’s money manager, every month I have a salary plus a sum of money that he gives to be enough for household expenses. My husband stands to pay, to pay large sums of money in the house.

In the past, my husband always shared with his wife the amount of money the family had, I was also very happy even though I did not manage the money, but seeing that the money was increasing, I was very happy when I could buy a house and a car. My husband does a good job, so the family life is more complete and affluent. I also have less headaches in money management, because to be honest, I do not have as much experience in spending as my husband.

However, for nearly a year now, my husband rarely shares about money with me. Every time I was interested and asked him questions, he would say that recently, his business was poor, and he did not have much money left over. The money given to me is also less and less, making spending at home sometimes in a state of mystery, having to save enough to not have to borrow from outsiders.

Surprisingly, I just found out that my husband lent a huge amount of money to his ex-girlfriend. My husband’s ex is divorced and is a single mother, she needed money to open a clothing store, so she borrowed money from my husband. Knowing this makes me sad too, my husband not only still meets his ex-girlfriend, but also lends her a lot of money. While every month I have to frugal in expenses.

Knowing that, I asked my husband, and he replied, which made me even more disappointed: “Money for people to borrow decently, but not for free without asking questions, making it so um?. If you don’t know anything about your husband’s business, don’t get involved. This is private money, what you want to do, who you lend is your husband’s right“.

I have no basis to accuse my husband of having an affair, but this is absolutely unacceptable. In the near future I need a large amount of money to take care of my children’s education, buy a series of damaged household appliances and equipment that need to be replaced… Should I force my husband to take back the money he lent, not to go back and forth? With an old lover again? If not, should I go directly to her to ask for my husband’s money back?

(Huyentran@…)