High or low HAPPY index of children can be seen through 3 details of family education
A girl named Tieu Phuong (China) shared: She has a very bad relationship with her family, especially a difficult mother. Every time they communicate, mother and daughter can’t control their emotions and lead to fierce arguments throughout high school. To make her parents happy, Tieu Phuong studied hard every day.
When everyone in the dorm was asleep, she still hid under blankets with night lights to memorize words and take notes. The pressure was too great, she even suffered from severe depression, did not dare to look her teacher in the eye and did not want to talk to her classmates.
Phuong said that she didn’t want to call home at all when she went to college, unless she didn’t have money to live. Each time, she heard a voice scolding: “Besides asking for money, what else can you do, what do you buy at school?”…
After graduating from university, each person has a job, when attending a class meeting a while ago, Tieu Phuong still looked very sad. At first glance, it resembles her introverted personality and poor conversation skills in high school. Except for occasional conversations with her old deskmates, Tieu Phuong is mostly head-down and quiet. Many people may think that Tieu Phuong’s personality is too withdrawn and too arrogant.
In fact, behind her cold exterior lies a childhood with scars that are hard to heal.
In the perception of education, everyone clearly realizes the importance of family education for children’s maturation, especially the perception that childhood will directly affect the happiness experienced in the whole life. life.
Children’s happiness index is high or not can be seen through 3 details of family education, hope parents do not make the mistake of even 1 of them:
1. Compare with excellent classmates
Every parent has a relatively simple expectation for their child. In many families, children who practice the piano from the age of 2, learn to dance from the age of 3, learn English from the age of 3, and at the age of 4 have already started studying elementary school textbooks…
We all hope kids can win at the starting line. In order for children’s learning to be easier and better, the daily requirements for children are usually higher. But in fact, on the educational path, the parents’ too high expectations sometimes lead to some negative comparisons: “Why did my child fail the exam”, “Why do my classmates do things together in class?” okay, I can’t”…
These cruel comparisons in everyday life will leave children feeling guilty when they fail. Many parents may think that comparing will create motivation to learn, but excessive comparison will directly reduce children’s happiness index, making children’s childhood always live in confusion, fear, anger, even depression.
Ukrainian educator Vasyl Sukhomlynsky once said: “The mission of the educator is to affirm the individuality of each child, allowing them to express themselves fully in the field of passion.”
2. “I don’t need you anymore”
Bill Gates once said that “the first priority of education is to make children feel safe”, the happiness of children is closely related to whether they are secure or not.
Chinese media reported that a 5-year-old boy living in Jinshan, Shanghai, went missing near the area of Dong Lam Temple, causing his family to panic and rush to report it to the police.
It is known that on that day, the boy and his mother and grandmother went out to play. After a while, the boy started messing around, nagging and asking to buy toys, but his mother refused. She told her son: “If you are still this bad, I will leave you.” The mother initially assigned the belly to scare her son to obey. After observing for a while, seeing that I was sitting still for a while, I started to be subjective again. In just a few careless minutes, she turned to talk to her mother and looked back, the child was gone.
Many children will immediately become better when their parents threaten them with words and so, parents think that this is the most effective way to teach their children. In fact, the effect may be immediate, but the long-term consequences of bullying are unpredictable. Psychological research shows that a child growing up in threats, or in other words a form of verbal abuse, will cause them to have a psychological fear, insecurity, and eventually create psychological scars. rational or easy to become a rebellious child.
How can children feel happy in such an unsafe educational environment? Educating children is like building a high-rise building, safety sense is the foundation of high-rise building, only when the safety sense is strong will the building be taller!
When communicating with children, parents need to let them know that they are fully respected. To let your child know that your parents were just like you when you were a child, going through the same things or having the same unpleasant emotions as you are experiencing. When children receive empathy, they may be more comfortable talking about their problems. In addition, parents should offer solutions or let children come up with a solution to the problem, adjust behavior and emotions.
3. Ask your child to share a favorite item
Children’s sense of security mainly comes from the influence of the educational environment, in addition to emotional integration due to the love of parents for their children, every child also needs to have a sense of security in front of objects. . When relatives and friends play together, there will certainly be competition. Some parents will directly ask their child to share a favorite item to avoid conflict.
In fact, the kind of demands and orders that ignore a child’s feelings is completely unfair. On the one hand, it is easy to make the child nag and develop dependence, and at the same time directly reduces the happiness index of the child who is forced to divide things.
Loved things are like the feelings that children have for their parents, if they let them go arbitrarily, they will inevitably lose in their hearts. Of course, this does not mean that children should be selfish and not share the things they love, but parents need to let their children voluntarily under conscious guidance and experience joy with good friends.
A sense of security is a feeling of happiness. Children who are nurtured by these two emotions are also more optimistic and positive. In the family, when the child grows up with the companionship of the father, the optimism of the mother, the confidence and affirmation of the child’s personality, will create a happy child.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here