4 parental actions that affect children’s emotional intelligence
According to many studies, emotional quotient (EQ) contributes to 67% of an individual’s success in adulthood. That explains why today’s parents always expect their children to have a high EQ. However, here are 4 common mistakes parents make that make it difficult for children to develop emotional intelligence.
1. Parents are hot-tempered, often scold their children
Criticisms: “Why are you so naughty”, “I don’t listen to my mother at all”, “the older you get, the more stubborn you become”, “children are not useful”, “you are so stupid”... are the sayings of parents who scold their children. However, adults do not know that these harsh words along with hitting children will cause emotional damage to children. Children are prone to “auto-suggestion”, believing that they are bad, stubborn, shy, ignorant children and since then their behavior is in accordance with the “labels” that parents assign.
Parents who are short-tempered, cannot control their emotions, often yell at their children, not only hinder the children’s emotional intelligence, but also affect the parent-child relationship. Since then, children will not listen, do not want to absorb, close to their parents when they grow up.
According to a study at Binghamton University (New York, USA), children who are often criticized tend to pay less attention to facial expressions. This will make it difficult for children to read other people’s emotions, one of the important abilities of developing EQ. Therefore, in order for children to develop emotional intelligence, parents should only stop at naming their children’s mistakes. Then explain to them why it’s wrong, where it’s wrong and guide them on how to fix it.
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2. Parents indulge their children too much, not giving them the right to trial and error
Many of the Parents who pamper their children too much should tolerate all guilty behavior in children.
For example, when a child hits a classmate, parents do not find out the reason and punish their child, but instead blame the victim, with the reason that “there is no smoke without fire”. Or another example is a child destroying goods when he goes to the supermarket with his mother. Instead of teaching children to be strict and compensating for the store, parents clicked their tongue to let it go because “children don’t know anything”…
Those behaviors of parents seem to come from love for their children, but in fact we are harming them. Pampering is different from psychopathic parents. It’s just easy to make the kids become selfish, like to command others and have to get all the things they want. Children easily have a winning mentality, do not like to share, even ready to be rude to anyone.
In life, no one is perfect. So parents let their children admit their own mistakes. Then I will correct it and remember it for a long time. Besides, give children the right to experience, don’t wrap them too tightly. Don’t do everything for me. Don’t let them get too used to the saying “parents are here”. This will easily lead to the formation of children who are impatient, abusive and have little respect for others. Parental indulgence is not loving the child, but actually killing the child in the slowest and most painful way.
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3. Parents do not give their children the right to express their feelings
Nowadays, parents are often busy with making money. Life pressure has made parents spend less and less time with their children, especially in listening to their children’s thoughts.
Emotions need to be released in time, otherwise it will cause serious damage to the child’s brain and body. When children are angry and cry, parents often shout: “Shut up!”, “Don’t scream” or use stronger measures to punish them, rather than find out why they cry. This type of repression may be effective in the short term, but it will plant bad seeds in the child’s mind. Children will easily become callous, do not want to share with their parents, and at the same time become quiet and have negative behaviors, harming people who harm themselves.
4. Parents often complain or quarrel
Harmonious family relationships help children feel safe and grow up healthy. Parents often stressed or quarreled will have a negative impact on children’s psyche. Living in an environment where parents often carry negative emotions, the child will also easily become irritable, self-deprecating, not progressive and pessimistic. This will make it difficult for the child’s EQ to be improved.
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It is very important to improve the child’s EQ. Parents should teach their children how to express emotions, recognize emotions, and deal with bad emotions. Before the age of 6 is the best time to cultivate children’s emotional intelligence. Parents must embrace it and let their child become a high EQ.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here
