The mother did not let her children go to class 1, did not study more, was criticized for “bad handwriting and slowness”
One of the tips for parents with children about to enter 1st grade is not to send them to school before the age of 6, let them have a proper childhood. However, many parents also think that they also want their children to be innocent, have fun every night, and also want their children to have weekends in harmony with nature. But with the current pace of life, when the whole society mostly lets their children study in advance, they don’t dare to leave their children at home. Question: Should children learn letters before entering grade 1, so no matter how many years, there is still no reasonable answer.
As the mother of two children, an 11-year-old boy and an 8-year-old girl with 2 personalities, 2 perceptions, 2 different mindsets, Ngan Ha (Hanoi) all identify one thing in common in upbringing, which is no I let my children go to pre-grade 1, and when they entered the school, they didn’t take extra lessons. “Studying is a child’s right, not an obligation.” This is a saying that my wife and I have mastered right from the time our children started to be toddlers.
In Ha’s opinion, at this stage, there are two goals set. One is: Teach your children to be virtuous, filial, and loving. The second goal is learning, specifically, that the child knows how to actively arrange his or her work, realizing that learning is his/her work and is his/her right, not for his parents, or for his grandparents. You need to know how to set goals and plan for your choices. For example, when participating in a contest, going out, winning a prize that you want.
“Remember when I was in 1st grade when I studied the book Canh Kite, many parents would be shocked, but I don’t know if my child has ever gone to school to know if it’s difficult or easy. To accompany my child, I only have 2 words: ‘persistence’ and not angry” with myself, not with my children. I don’t go to first grade, don’t take extra lessons. Many parents say they’re afraid that their children won’t keep up with their friends, and I think it’s unnecessary, slower than people who know in advance. 1 step is normal. It’s important to train your child to be adaptive and brave, not rank.” Ha said.
Teaching children to be independent, learning a little slower is also… regardless
According to Ms. Ha, her oldest child is smart, bright and obedient, but shy. The second friend is a girl, quite agile, active but less focused, tutoring children is more difficult, but she is not pressured with the above educational viewpoint. Since kindergarten, the children have taken the initiative in personal tasks (washing, eating, preparing for school, etc.).
“The children go to school with a very comfortable mentality because parents don’t put any pressure on them. I remember at the beginning of the school year, going to pay for the first child, she said “K is bad and slow”. asked her again “I’m slow due to perception, my thinking is not normal or just slower than your friends”, she said um, it’s not clear that I mean I’m slower than some of you. I just need to know that my child is completely normal and that’s fine, each child will have a different way of developing, there’s no need to be like friend A or friend B.
About myself, I said to my child, “Today, she told me that K is very smart and did a good job, but her handwriting is not good, so she can’t see the lesson clearly to mark it. Your letters don’t need to be beautiful, you just need to be clear, then I will grade your work. It’s okay, right? but not blaming anything”.
Divide goals by week, absolutely do not push your child
For the second child, who is quite active and less focused, so in the first week of grade 1, he did not sit still to learn, just sing, lie down, run around. At this stage, Ms. Ha divides goals for her children by week to practice concentration: Week 1 can sit at the table for 3 minutes/time, Week 2 sits for 5 minutes/time, Week 3 can sit for 7-8 minutes/time and mother will sit behind, not next to, to support your child when he or she needs it. From the 2nd month, the total time of your child’s desk study is only 30 – 45 minutes.
“Sometimes, I cut out the homework that she assigns, because when my child can only concentrate for 5 minutes and force him to do 30 minutes, how can he stand it, then it will be inhibited, when his spirit is already inhibited? the child will not be able to absorb it, the more they learn, the more scared they become, the more stressful it becomes for both the child and the parents.According to my observations, for the 1st and 2nd graders, they just need to go back and re-learn what they learned today at school. The class is enough to keep up with the teacher. 2, study a lot, too much will be counterproductive, making children more afraid to learn.”
There were times when I was bored, I cried because I didn’t want to do it (because I was lazy, I couldn’t concentrate) but Ms. Ha persisted, never shouted at me half a sentence, just shared and advised like a friend. Weeks 2, 3, 4 each week, children make a little progress, they can sit longer, get used to books more. When I went to grade 2 to study online, I couldn’t concentrate” and was afraid of Math.My father applied the trick of long-lasting rain, just doing the same exercise over and over again until he didn’t do it wrong anymore. Now I’m not afraid. Math again.
Term 1 child is in the top 10, semester 2 is in the top 5. However, the most important thing is not the rank, but according to Ms. Ha, the most fun thing is that I won myself (difficulty in concentrating), very “happy” with learning.
Ms. Ha said that for children from kindergarten to primary school, especially in grades 1 and 2, learning is really stressful. If parents are not calm and strong, how can they transmit positive energy to their children? If you want your child to go to school every day to be a happy day, parents must do it first.
“My view is that learning can create pressure, but how to relieve pressure and transfer that pressure to children is up to parents – not blaming teachers, schools or anyone. My work often has to follow KPIs, so I discovered a principle that “What the goal is, the action will be.” Therefore, the action of parents setting a goal that the child must be good at scores is different from the action. Parents set a goal that their children need physical exercise, energy, and time to experience.
If you have tried your best with your heart, not with pressure, but you still don’t achieve the results according to the teacher’s standards, it means that you are not strong in the things that are arranged in the school. At this time, the mother has to encourage her children, try to understand them to promote their strengths, and not focus on their weaknesses. I see that every child today is smart, just in different ways, but being judged on a single scale, which is a score, is absurd. But as long as parents understand that, all worries and pressures will be greatly reduced.”Ha added.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here
