Words that are easy to hurt children
Overwhelmed and helpless
Sayings like “I’m ashamed of my parents”, “I’m so disappointed in you”… make children seriously hurt. Many times, children make mistakes, even small things, but parents accidentally utter such sentences. This makes children feel very sad and narcissistic; At the same time, children may also think that their parents are disgusted, want to abandon them and gradually feel ashamed and embarrassed. From there, children form negative and pessimistic thoughts.
Prolonged sadness, depression, and hopelessness also increase the likelihood of developing depression. It makes young children grow up slowly compared to their peers. In many cases, children are obsessed, desperate for themselves.
Similarly, saying, “I’m bored of you” is also very distressing for children. Parents are the people who are close, close and a solid support for their children. But the boredom of adults makes children lose their sense of security in life. Therefore, children will blame themselves, hating themselves.
When children make mistakes, parents need to know how to be selective about what is necessary and unnecessary to tell the child. Always talk to your child about what he does every day; At the same time, praise good deeds and remind and correct mistakes.
If all actions, words and thoughts of young children are always controlled, imposed and banned by their parents in an excessive way, it will make them shy and timid. From there, fear and confusion arise. Parents let their children do what they want and teach them how to be responsible for their own actions and words.
Give children the opportunity to learn
It’s stupid, useless, and can’t do anything. This is really a saying that makes children’s psyche seriously hurt. However, the frustration will cause many parents to speak out. Children can even become sad, depressed for a long time.
Parents calling their children useless and stupid will make them feel like they really are, that they themselves can’t do anything well and that they are a burden and hindrance to the family.
Parents telling their children that “you can’t do anything right” will make them feel extremely guilty, hurt, and sad. Over time, children will also have a fear of being wrong, not daring to try anything, even the smallest things. At the same time, I also think that I am really incompetent and don’t want to try or try anymore.
In fact, no child is useless. Each child will have different strengths. Therefore, if parents feel unsatisfied with something in their children, they should also gently advise, guide and teach their children more. Give them words of encouragement so that they can gradually shape and improve.
Besides, sentences that compare children with friends or siblings also make children psychologically hurt. “Why are you studying so well, but I am…”, “You are not as good as a part of me”. Really, if you are an adult, hearing these comparisons is not normal.
Sometimes, parents also expect, expect their children to always take first place, always first in the categories, so they often compare their children. This will inadvertently form a psychological fear. Since then, children no longer have much confidence in their own abilities.
Moreover, there are many cases where the child, despite his best efforts, does not receive the recognition of his parents, so he gradually considers himself to be inferior, giving up and no longer making efforts. Or even many children find ways to sabotage and demean others, making them really corrupt and weak so that their parents can recognize them even once.
Threats don’t work
Usually, parents won’t say to their children, “I’m going to have a baby, you’ll be left out”. But other adults, relatives next to the child often tease when the mother is about to have a baby. In fact, many children feel abandoned, have run away from home, some children even hate them, beat them, ask to throw them away… That statement will arouse jealousy and envy in the hearts of children. Just because of this joke, many children fall into a state of confusion, fearing that their parents will abandon them and no longer need them. This long-term situation will make the child’s psychology greatly affected, the child not only feels disgusted with his younger brother but also feels hatred towards his parents.
Similarly, sentences like “Knowing that the child is naughty like this, I did not give birth to a child” causes severe psychological damage to young children that parents need to avoid. Parents are the closest relatives and people that children love the most. If even they deny and hate, the child will feel extremely hopeless and miserable. Children will believe that parents really do not want to give birth to them and that they are their parents’ trouble.
Children are in the process of learning and developing themselves, so mistakes are inevitable. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and try to accompany and teach their children to develop better. After the failures, children always need to be taught, educated and oriented, not faced with criticism and punishment.
Similarly, “If you are not good, your parents won’t love you anymore” is also a highly “killing” sentence for children. Because I am very afraid that my parents no longer love and care about me. Although, the purpose of this saying is only to want the child to become better, but if parents use it too much, it will create an obsession for the child. Many children will try to be perfect for fear of their parents abandoning them.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here