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How to let your teen talk to his parents

Many children, when young, are very close to their parents, but by puberty, they shrink back and are no longer as close and attached to their families as before.

Many parents find it difficult to understand when their children are closed, have little communication, even refuse to talk openly with their parents but only respond shyly.

First, parents need to recognize the fact that their children no longer see their parents as the center of their lives. That is a normal thing. Children at this stage need privacy and space.





Illustration: Rising Kids Network.

Illustration: Rising Kids Network.

What to do to make teenagers talk more with their parents?

Listen more and talk less

When children talk to their parents, what they want is to hear their thoughts, opinions, and expectations. However, many parents tend to use their living capital and knowledge to impose, in the name of sharing.

When listening more, talking less, parents will understand their children as a friend, a companion. Parents can also show their care and sharing with body language, instead of just words.

Schedule interactive activities

As your child tries to withdraw into her own world, you need to proactively show her that you won’t let her do what she wants, but in a gentle way. The main solution is to schedule some parent-child interaction with your child. For example, you can schedule the whole family to eat together at your child’s favorite place, asking the question: “Where do you like to eat, we can go together on Wednesday?”. An environment that children love will make them more open, happier, and more willing to communicate.

Never judge

Judgment and criticism are mistakes made by parents, because this will only make children feel that both sides cannot have a common voice and quickly withdraw.

Even if your child’s thoughts and opinions differ from yours, don’t take it for granted. Everyone has the right to express their own opinions, teenagers are no exception. Respecting children, listening and asking for help is a way for both sides to understand each other better.

When your child makes a decision, even though you know it might not be the best decision, don’t criticize. Give them the freedom to do what they want, because that will promote their independence. Children can make mistakes sometimes, but think, who is never wrong? Therefore, it is necessary to stop immediately the criticism, related to the decisions of children.

As a parent, it’s important to stand by and let your children find their own solutions to their problems. Need to learn to let go, let children do what they want.

Make the most of chat opportunities

Trips, sometimes on the way to work, when in the car together, parents can make the most of this time and discuss everything. Children should be encouraged to ask questions and, in turn, ask them questions, instead of letting them engrossed in the phone screen.

Children should be encouraged to participate more in family outings, encourage children to interact more with parents and siblings, instead of hiding in their own world.

Be more patient with your child

Patience is the most important factor to remember, even if you would love to have your child open up more. Your child is at a stage of change, when they go from being an outgoing, outgoing child to being withdrawn, reserved, and shy.

The most important thing is to wait, give them some of the space they need to navigate, discover who they are and try out different versions of themselves. Parental patience is very important at this stage.

Thuy Linh (According to Asianparent)

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