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My husband’s family sees me as a stranger

I have been married for 12 years through matchmaking, now 37 years old. I am wondering about the property of the husband’s family divided among the children.

My wife and I have two children. At the wedding, the husband’s family gave two amounts of gold and 10 million dong in cash, after the marriage, the mother-in-law gave another 100 million dong. Her husband’s family works as a sea freight transporter, and her husband is rarely at home. When I was newly married, my husband’s economy was normal, I had bank debt. In recent years, her husband’s monthly profit ranges from VND 250-450 million. Her husband left school early to help support the family, and her two brothers-in-law studied and worked in Saigon.

Five years after the wedding, the elderly father-in-law should hand over the job to my husband, the grandparents help find additional business, not completely because he is a bit honest. My husband’s family built a shop for me to do business and earn my own. My husband does the business together, so my children are taken care of by her husband’s family from diapers and school fees. Later, when my children grow up, I have an income, my mother-in-law, in addition to raising rice and water, soap and detergent for my parents and children, gives me an additional 80 million dong a year. Grandparents also help pick up grandchildren and help me do business. My brother-in-law got married far away, rarely came home, so my grandparents kept him and took care of him just like me.

>> My father-in-law scrutinizes my property

In 2018, when I returned, my grandparents opened a business for me to manage, the money still went to the family’s common fund. The view of grandparents is that the common fund to buy land is later divided among children, strong enough to separate. Since the day my brother-in-law returned, it was very difficult for me to live, my grandparents defended me, everything was calculated for me. She is difficult, considering all sorts of things, I can’t live, even arguing with her parents-in-law if she disagrees. I want to go out separately but my husband does not agree. Every time I argued with my brother-in-law, my husband only scolded me, not defending his wife. I worry about business papers because I study a lot, my husband has a position of authority, so my grandparents trust me.

Recently, my grandparents assigned me the bird’s nest business, although before that I wanted to apply for management of that part. The husband had no idea because the mother-in-law said the money was for the common fund, not for her brother-in-law. I asked my grandparents to leave, she said if I had money to buy land to build a house, I would go out, no one would keep it. Meanwhile, the main economy is still earned by my husband. My husband doesn’t give me any million even though my account is always over 500 million dong. Recently, my grandparents transferred the land to my brother-in-law with a land of four billion dong. I discussed with my husband, he said there are still 11 untitled pieces, why am I like this. Anyway, my brother-in-law takes care of his sick grandparents at the hospital, even taking care of my baby when he’s hospitalized, but I haven’t been able to take care of him for a day. I said because the child was still young, so I couldn’t take care of my grandparents, I would take care of the two old and weak people later.

>> Daughter-in-law refuses all property of her husband’s family

I only had one mistake that once after I got married, my mother was in debt, so I sold all my wedding gold and brought the money back to my mother-in-law. I thought it was only a temporary loan, but after four or five years, my biological mother did not pay, so my husband found out and made a big deal. Is it because I help my mother with such a thing that the husband’s family hates me? That money has been given to me by my husband’s family, I have the right to do whatever with that money, right?


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