Parents immediately correct a serious mistake, if they do not want their children to have an unhappy childhood, poor communication skills
Recently, a friend boasted to me: “My daughter shares everything with a mother like me.”
A 12-year-old girl is in the rebellious period of her youth but miraculously becomes a confidant with her mother. She never lied about the prices of the items she bought, even after going to the net shop to play games, she dared to go back to the journalist to tell her family, and friends to skip the “exploration” class and also told her mother without a word. any.
It is because she dares to speak, so she has the opportunity to find out what the situation really is, and then more patiently communicate with her child. She doesn’t casually scold, so her daughter doesn’t hate it but protest. On the contrary, thanks to that, her child still trusts her very much and knows when to make mistakes.
I am surprised: “How did you win your child’s trust?”
She proudly replied: “It’s very simple, don’t blame arbitrarily.”
She told me.
A long time ago, when her husband was unemployed for a long time at home. She is a housewife, has no income, even a penny has to be divided into two to slowly spend, every meal is full of fear that she will have to “breathe in the wind” to live through the day.
All day long, husband and wife don’t like each other, constantly arguing, throwing all negative emotions on each other. In the evening, the couple sat facing each other, with a sad face sighing, no one would give up a step.
Once, her eight-year-old daughter whispered in her ear: “Mom, I lost 20 thousand by mistake, do you think I can find it again?”
She thought that her daughter had stolen the money, so she was very angry and poured all her anger on the child. In the end, leaving some blinding scars on her calves.
Losing money, feeling sorry for herself, and being beaten by her mother, she cried all afternoon.
Only later did she learn that 20 thousand was earned by her daughter from selling bottles. The little girl saw that her mother was in a bad mood, so she wanted to buy a small gift to make her mother happy, but she did not expect that she would lose money, the gift could not be bought, and was beaten by her mother. When she knew the truth, she regretted it, she secretly decided that in the future, no matter what her daughter did wrong, she would never arbitrarily scold her child.
Life is not easy, so don’t take your anger out on children. You arbitrarily scold them, will leave them with a psychological ghost that they may not be able to get out of their whole life.
Instead of scolding children, it is better to gain their trust and help them establish the right values with their own words and actions for them to follow.
In “The Family Language of Confucius” there is a story:
When Confucius and his disciples traveled around the countries, they were caught between the two countries of Qin and Zhou, everyone was hungry and desperate. Once, Tu Cong sneaked out to buy some rice to bring back to Nhan Hoi to cook.
Everyone was tired and sluggish, when the rice was fragrant, Tu Cong and Tu Lo went to the kitchen together to see if they needed any help, but they saw a learned intellectual with high morals. A gentleman like Nhan Hoi is secretly eating a handful of rice.
Tu Cong and Tu Lo could not believe the scene before them, they did not directly expose it, but quietly turned around and told Confucius. As a teacher, Confucius did not directly scold Nhan Hoi, but impliedly said: “Not long ago, I dreamed about my ancestors, believing that they would bless us, so I would first use this cooked rice to worship them.”
The ancients were very superstitious, if you worship your ancestors and use food you’ve already eaten, it’s disrespectful. As soon as Nhan Hoi heard, he stopped Confucius from allowing him to offer rice offerings, and Confucius asked why. Only then did Nhan Hoi confess, it turned out that while he was cooking, he accidentally let a handful of ash fall in, soiling a small handful of rice. It was a pity to throw it away, so he ate all the rice.
Confucius’s act of not being chaotic, not casually scolding not only showed his tolerance for others, but also resolved misunderstandings, it can be said that one arrow hit two swallows .
You never know how hurt other people will be if they are arbitrarily accused. Therefore, people with really high emotional intelligence will know how not to arbitrarily blame others.
Children are preschools that need to be gently and properly cultivated, like a small tree, you will easily bend them to any shape you want, but once you get it wrong, when the tree is big, it is very difficult to fix. Therefore, parents should never underestimate these small actions such as “arbitrarily scolding”.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: cafebiz.vn – Read the original article here