Sex is more than just an intimate act between two bodies. It is also related to psychological factors, emotions, habits … that sometimes the insiders themselves may not understand well. An ordinary man who is usually gentle, loves his wife, pampers his children, and is considered by everyone around him as a model of “the husband of the family” can hide a complicated, dark sex life. This is also a case that has just sent a letter to the Troubleshooting column of consultant Deidre Sanders on the website. The Sun.
This man said, he is 44 years old, and his wife 42. They have been married for 12 years and have two beautiful daughters, 8 and 6 years old. “My wife is caring, responsible, lovely, and a wonderful mother. I love and respect my wife, but I still yearn for the extravagance and have done so many times. How can I be like that? Why would I risk myself to lose everything that matters most?” the husband wondered.
Many men struggle between the desire to satisfy their extra-marital desires and keeping the image of an exemplary husband and father. (Illustration)
He admits, maybe part of the reason is because he is bored because he has too much free time. Like many other men, since being single, he has watched a lot of hot movies and since then has known a number of prostitute websites or sites looking for one-night stands. “This is so easy to do on the phone,” the husband said.
He tried to give up on this, especially since his engagement and first marriage. After that, two children were born in turn and the “sex” between him and his wife almost stopped. During the past 5 years, husband and wife only had sex 2-3 times.
“We are often too tired or the timing is not right. We haven’t even shared a bed for a few years. During this time, the urge to go to the dark web resurfaced and I couldn’t resist the old habit. I even had unprotected sex once,” the husband said.
He said, in the past 7-8 years, he has spent the night with 6-7 different girls, all of which were just quick one-night stands.
After the actions to satisfy his lust, he was always gnawed by guilt. Last week, after a “paid cake”, he felt like a sledgehammer hit his chest, painful and heavy.
“How many times have I told myself over the years that I will not act like that again. I really want to change. I don’t want to find other women in my life. I feel ashamed. I don’t know if I’m addicted to sex? I want to be a good man and a true husband, what should I do?”, the man asked for expert help.
A one-night stand can put men at risk of marriage breakdown as well as harm the health of themselves and their wives. (Illustration)
In this case, expert Deidre Sanders said that the husband can change but will need his reason, his efforts and the support and understanding from his wife.
Paying for sex is synonymous with supporting an exploitative, generally grim industry, and insiders also have to risk their sexual health when having sex with strangers, she said.
However, this is not an uncommon situation. Many families appear to be peaceful on the outside, but in reality, one or both of them are not satisfied with their intimate life, even looking for compensation with risky behaviors.
According to experts, wives are also unrealistic when expecting their partners to be satisfied with being “starved” constantly.
In the case of a man who is struggling between satisfying his sexual desire by having an affair with being a proper husband and father, she advises him to talk to his wife about how he is struggling. when lack of conjugal closeness. Let your partner know he needs her sympathy and support.
In the immediate future, experts said that the husband should prioritize the reproductive health examination to check if he has STDs because he has had unprotected sex outside.
Why do men who love their wives still have sex outside?
According to Robert Weiss, an American therapist and author of several books on marriage and infidelity, sex is often not sacred to many men and in some cases is easily okay (lots of girls willing to ask). Therefore, many husbands often do not anticipate the extent of damage to their partners from their secret actions. For those who do not admit or are not detected, the situation repeats itself often for the same reason: sex.
According to a 2017 social survey in the US, about 20% of men admit to cheating (7% more than women). In which, those who are about to become fathers and new fathers perform this behavior more. An estimated 10% of men cheat when their wives are pregnant. Statistics also show that the husband’s ability to resist temptation is stronger when he is newly married and if he has a regular, passionate sex life.
In fact, experts’ consultation shows that the cause of chronic “stealing” in men (again and unstoppable) is often deep-seated issues such as psychological disturbances. Sex addiction. Healthy men sometimes “eating pho” is not a disease, but often because they are not really mature and have not been able to control themselves.
According to experts, it is maturity and better consideration that can prevent men from outside relationships. When he is really mature and knows the consequences of his actions, a man will know how to restrain himself so as not to perform actions that hurt his partner as well as expose himself to health risks. life.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Eva.vn – Read the original article here
