Things Parents Shouldn’t Tell Their Children

“Stop crying!”

Many parents get mad when they see their baby crying or screaming loudly. You should be happy for this, because at least children have shown their emotions openly to let their parents know if they are upset or angry. If one day, your baby stops crying in front of you, then it is likely that your child has an anxiety disorder.

When a child cries, parents should find out why. If your child cries to get angry, you don’t have to comfort him, just keep doing your job, he’ll stop crying, but don’t force him to shut up when emotions are pouring out. If your child cries because someone bullies him, hurts from a fall, or gets a bad grade in class, comfort him or encourage him.

“Are you deaf?”

When you call or ask your child to do something but he ignores you, you angrily yell, “Are you deaf?”. Surely children are not deaf, it’s just that you say they don’t care so they deliberately pretend to be deaf. Anger or sarcasm is not a good way to teach children. In this case, parents make specific requests. For example: “If you don’t come down to eat in 5 minutes, I will clear the table / If you still don’t come down in 5 minutes, you will have to walk to school today”.

“You did well but you can do better”

This saying is very often used by parents because they think it is an encouragement and encouragement for their children to make efforts and do better next time. This may be partly true, but on the other hand, it also leaves the child feeling pressured and unrecognized. The child did well, “but” – this “but” completely negated that good thing. Instead of saying that, you can say to your child, “You did well and we are so proud of you. Parents believe that children will improve more and more!”.

“At your age, my parents were…”

“At the same age as you, my father grazes buffaloes, mows grass, cooks rice, chops duckweed, but still studies well. / At your age, my mother knew how to help her knitting and earn money but still achieved the title of a good student …”. Many parents often talk about the old days with the implication that children today are not as good as their parents. Living conditions now are much better than in the past, children must try their best to study well. However, what children think is often not what their parents think. Some children think that parents deliberately brag about themselves to put them down, others feel a lot of pressure when they are not as good as their parents.

You should not compare your children with your parents, nor should you compare your children with other people; If you want your child to make an effort in school or life, get straight to the point, pointing out the advantages if your child tries his or her best. That’s the best way to motivate and encourage children without making them feel uncomfortable or pressured.

“That’s for boys/girls only”

In fact, in the way of parenting, many parents still subconsciously instill gender stereotypes in their children’s heads, such as separating things for boys and things for girls. There are parents who assume that girls have to cook, wash dishes, clean the house… boys wash cars, sweep the yard… Or force boys to learn martial arts, girls to learn ballet. This is not advisable. Let children do things that are suitable for their abilities and interests.

“Parents are so disappointed in you”

There is nothing sadder than when children hear that statement from their own parents. Many children have come to believe that they are really the disappointment of their parents and find life boring. No matter how much your child has let you down, don’t say bitter words to your child. Instead, tell your child that you were upset or unhappy about his actions. Later, you need to learn from the experience to avoid repeating.

“I wish I never gave birth to it.”

When angry, some parents blurt out this terrible statement. That sentence has terrible damage to a child’s soul.

Parenting is not easy, sometimes you feel exhausted, but remember one thing, children don’t ask to be born, you gave birth to children. Don’t let the child feel guilty because they were born. If you are too tired, reward yourself with moments of relaxation or say it to your child to be shared.

Do not make children think that their parents do not need them, because feeling abandoned can cause children to become more and more distant from their parents, even having negative thoughts and actions.

“I don’t want to see you anymore”

This sentence hurts children like the saying “I wish I never gave birth to him”. Children will understand that their parents must have been extremely upset when they saw their face, so from now on, they will avoid their faces so their parents don’t have to see them; Some children even left home or went to their grandparents/relatives’ house so that their parents wouldn’t see each other anymore.

If your child makes you angry, at the moment when the anger is at its peak, you really don’t want to look at your child’s face because the more you look at it, the more angry it will be, ask your child to go back to the room with the door closed to self-criticize or you Temporarily move your face away to calm down.