Uninvited culture in Sweden

In the evening, a Swedish family gathers around the dinner table. They ate with mashed potato meatballs and sauces. Next to him, a child sat and played, not eating because no one invited him. That child was a friend of the host’s son, who came over at dinner time.

This is completely normal in Sweden. People do not have the habit of inviting their children’s friends to have a meal if they come to play. Instead, when it’s time to eat, kids can go home, stay in a friend’s room, or sit at the family table and not eat.

“I went to my Swedish friend’s house. While we were both playing in the room, his mother called to say dinner was ready. You told me to wait for him to come down to the dining room and then come up to play with me again. . I was shocked,” one person nicknamed Wowinmatard recalled.

“I slept over at a friend’s house when I got to Sweden. When we woke up, you said you’d be downstairs in a few minutes. 15 minutes later, I went downstairs and saw their whole family eating breakfast. My friend looked up. came up and said it’s almost done, will come to my room soon to play with me. I still think about this 25 years later”, another agreed and shared his memories.

Many people said they were also shocked to learn about the culture of not inviting guests over for a meal. Many people were quick to speak up, defending their country’s customs. People explain that this is a common practice, and the main reason is that they don’t expect guests to come and dine with the family. “We just make enough to support our family,” another shared.

Hakan Jonsson, a professor of culinary studies at Lund University, doesn’t understand why so many people are annoyed by the custom. Jonsson believes this is partly based on the hard work of the people in the past, when Sweden experienced cold winter months. So a spontaneous dinner serving someone extra has never been part of the culture. In addition, Jonsson said that people also want to respect the independence of each family, and that feeding another person can be seen as an act of condemning the other family’s inability to raise children.

Zara Larsson, a Swedish pop star, says the custom is “cult culture”, although her family and many others she knows don’t practice it. In homes where this custom applies, Larson will be asked to leave if it’s time to eat, or be left in a friend’s room. But she did not feel this was an unpleasant problem.

This custom also applies to the Germans, Finns, Dutch and other parts of northern Europe. Lotte Holm, a sociology professor at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark, says that in her day (the 1950s-1960s), children didn’t eat dinner at friends’ houses. Even so, when she had children, Holm still invited her children’s friends to stay for a meal, but asked them to call and ask their parents for permission. “It seems a bit stingy and unfriendly not to invite someone to a meal with them if that person comes over. But I think this is out of respect for each family’s independence and privacy,” Holm said.

From April 1, Sweden lifted all quarantine-related restrictions on visitors entering outside the European Union. Visitors from countries and territories around the world come here just need a passport and a visa (with the required countries). Vietnamese tourists who want to come to Sweden must apply for a Schengen visa to enter. There are many airlines such as Thai Airways, Lufthansa… but visitors will have to connect from one to two routes. The price of a round trip ticket from Vietnam to Sweden currently ranges from 28-30 million VND.

Mr. Minh (Follow NYT)