Apologies are a powerful tool when used correctly. The problem is that many of us are in a state of needlessly apologizing. Changing that habit can be a powerful tool to help you build self-esteem, confidence, and strengthen relationships with those around you.
Several studies on apologies and over-apologies have shown some interesting facts that:
Women tend to apologize more often than men. This is not because men are afraid to say “I’m sorry,” but because they are less likely to think they’ve done something wrong than women. Women are often more sensitive in judging whether a behavior is offensive.
Victims of abuse, people with anxiety disorders, and trauma victims are also more likely to develop the habit of over-apologizing as a coping mechanism to avoid getting hurt or falling into an uncomfortable situation.
When a person is constantly apologizing for things they are not responsible for, have no control over, or are too small in life, they create negative perceptions in the mind. Specifically, it devalues sincere apologies, affecting the person’s self-esteem as well as the respect others have for them. A person who apologizes too much can also be seen as incompetent.
4 tips to stop saying sorry too much
To change the habit of apologizing too much, you need to know why you are apologizing so much. If this habit is meant to relieve yourself of the haunting of some traumatic experience, you may need to see a mental health professional to address the underlying issues. Just changing the behavior involved will not heal the wound that is still there.
Here are some tips to help you stop saying sorry too much:
1. Be mindful of the times you say sorry
See when you usually apologize and evaluate the situation. Ask yourself: “Is there any reason for me to apologize? Am I responsible for what I apologized for?” You’ll be more conscious of whether or not you should apologize in similar situations.
2. Shut up and think before you speak
If apologizing has become your catchphrase, try not to apologize when you find yourself in similar situations. Be quiet and think about what you want to convey, are you responsible for it, and whether you need to apologize. This silence helps you think more clearly about the situation and see if you’ve caused any problems or harm that you need to apologize for.
3. Consider what you’re really trying to convey
Usually, we say “I’m sorry” when we have more complex thoughts and feelings. Instead, consider whether these two words accurately reflect what you want to convey to the other person. If you have other bigger thoughts or feelings, now is the time to talk about those feelings instead of apologizing all the time. This change will help you build confidence, self-esteem as well as respect for colleagues and people around.
4. Repeat until it becomes a habit
Changing habits is a seemingly simple process, but it is not easy. You need to stop the previous habit and replace it with another behavior, do it over and over again until it becomes a habit. So repeat these 3 steps over and over again until you see them as a part of your life.
How to behave wisely instead of saying “Sorry!”
You already know that you shouldn’t always say sorry in situations, so what behavior should you choose instead?
You can use thanks and other forms of gratitude as a way to change the perception of the conversation.
Instead of saying, “Sorry for taking your time,” say, “Thank you for your time.”
Instead of saying, “I’m sorry about that mistake,” say, “Thanks for helping me spot it in time.”
Instead of saying, “Sorry for being late,” say, “Thank you for being patient and waiting for me!”
It may take some time for you to change this habit. Many people seem to say sorry as their reflex, when they don’t know what to say, say sorry.
Remember that apologies need to be said sincerely and at the right time, to the right person. It doesn’t have to be apologizing to be polite. Do not apologize for things that are not your responsibility or that you are not at fault. It’s also an important line between those who know and don’t respect you, which is so important for your mental and emotional health.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Eva.vn – Read the original article here
