Make your husband understand the difference
From the day I lived with my husband’s house, I discovered another face of my husband. Outside, he loves to pamper me, but when he comes home, he listens to his mother. After giving birth, I was very stressed because I had to live with my mother-in-law. Still has a reputation of being taken care of, but I say one thing and she does another. Seeing that my grandson did not gain much weight, she forced me to give him formula milk. I pumped frozen milk and she threw it all away, making me burst into tears. When I told my husband, we had a big argument, he said “That’s my mother, she only has 1″… I really want a divorce even though the baby is only 6 months old…
TK
A very small story but has appeared in many families. To handle mother-in-law – daughter-in-law relationshipthe woman must have three keys.
The first is how to treat your mother-in-law.
The second is how to treat your husband.
The third is self-regulation.
“She is my mother, she has only one”
There is a saying that often appears in many quarrels if it concerns the mother-in-law. “She is my mother, she only has 1…”, The sentence has tremendous damage and the stammer is like a warning from a husband to his wife: 1 is divorce or else continue to suffer.
However, the “border” problem cannot be overcome with patience and resignation.
Meanwhile, men often see their wives as just making the conflict worse.
Why?
Because in the past, for Asians, family is the supreme existence and filial piety is always on top. If you are not filial, your marriage will be shaken.
It’s like a classic question”My mother and I fell into the water at the same time, who do you save?”. If you save your wife, you are unfilial.
But in Europe with a similar question, if you choose your mother, it’s too cool. Because Westerners would say, have to protect your woman, you saved your mother, what is your father doing?
According to modern psychologyThe relationship between husband and wife is the core of family relations.
The relationship between mother and child is often higher than that of husband and wife Discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often the product of a higher mother-son relationship than a husband-wife relationship.
Many men appear to be tall and strong adults on the outside, but in their hearts they are not independent.
“Sacrificing” his wife for being too indulgent, leading to increasingly discord in the family, even affecting the next generation, this is true disobedience.
How to deal with an authoritarian mother-in-law?
Some mother-in-law problems are just due to the age gap and living habits, so conflicts and disagreements are inevitable.
It’s not a matter of principle, just take it easy, don’t ask too many questions. Expectations are not high, naturally there is no disappointment.
But what if this doesn’t work for an overbearing mother-in-law?
In the mother-in-law relationship: If you want to be a fool, you can be “destroyed”.
Whether your mother-in-law “stepped on your foot” or you “quickly” stepped on your mother-in-law’s foot, it is not the best choice.
When encountering an unreasonable mother-in-law, what makes a woman saddest is not the behavior of her mother-in-law, but her husband, who is a man who is not responsible, does not protect his wife.
At this time you will be sad, in your heart will despise that person. But once your husband feels disrespected by his wife, he becomes upset and takes his mother’s side.
Where is the key of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
You have to understand a man, he has such a domineering and difficult mother, then there is bound to be conflict.
The first type of man, he dares to be angry and dare not speak, so he must listen to his words, because otherwise, he will face accusations. At his core is fear, the fear of being attacked by his own mother.
The second kind of man dare not hurt his mother, because his mother has paid too much for him since he was young, if he disobeys her, he will feel very guilty.
You have to determine what type of person he is, then sympathize with his fear and guilt.
If it’s the first kind of fearthere is a lot of pent-up anger in the heart, because when afraid a person will not be able to protect himself, can only let others violate his or her borders.
So, if your mother-in-law treats you badly, you can tell him: “I felt very sad when my mother said to me like that. I wanted to be spoken to and protected by you but couldn’t… At first I was very angry with you, but then I thought, I have only been hurt once, my mother is still strict with me. From childhood to adulthood, it must not have been easy for him.
Now he will think: “Yeah, I’ve been controlled for too long” and his anger flared up to generate strong resistance.
If it’s the kind of sinhe always thinks that since childhood, she has sacrificed so much for me, can’t hurt her…
You can say: “You are a filial son that I admire very much. But are you sure that you work hard to do everything you can to make your mother happy? Is your mother really happy? Mother sacrifices to give you a good future. If you keep being so heavy, it will make your mother feel sad, she feels like you are paying her debt.”
These words will blow away his sadness.
People tend to put the needs of others before their own.
You have to make a man realize what he has lost and let him understand that if he continues like this, he will not be free for the rest of his life, he is just a puppet, not a filial piety. .
Changing the worldview and mindset of a man who was once a good son of his mother needs perseverance. You can’t instigate him like a child or be harsh or forceful.
Some people achieve immediate results, others take time, depending on the man’s psychological maturity, needing to penetrate slowly and adjust step by step. Let him understand the difference between the line of filial piety and the vicious circle of symbiosis. Remember, you are making both relationships better, not destroying any motherhood.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here
