If you want to surround yourself with positive people, do it this way

The ROC formula is Relaxation, Openness and Connectivity. That is the first strategy for you to attract close friends.

Relax

We live in a world where the pace of life is getting faster and faster. Our nervous system starts to get used to that speed and doesn’t seem to realize how fast our bodies and minds are working or how they affect us.

Accept and experience your own pace of life, relax and enjoy life. You may feel nervous when you begin to relax, but any change takes time. Mindfulness is a great tool to help you speed up the development of this skill. Slow down, you’ll learn the next skill better.

Open

Once you begin to accept your body, mind, and emotional experiences, it becomes easier for you to open up to the possibility of being hurt by others. This is the key to close friendships because when you don’t accept the possibility of vulnerability, you will have no interaction and difficulty in making friendships.

All close relationships whether love or friendship start with vulnerability. It’s the truth. You may be rejected, hurt, or embarrassed. When you don’t accept the possibility of being vulnerable, other people won’t be able to truly connect with you beyond the surface.

Connect

After you relax and open up more, you are ready to reach out to connect with others. If vulnerability is the key, connection is the door. When you overcame your fear of reaching out to people, you were in a different position. Be more relaxed, take the initiative to connect with friends.

How does the ROC formula work?

Create a safe space

This is very important to the formula of ROC and friendship. If you feel insecure, chances are the other person feels insecure too. A safe space is a fertile soil that nurtures friendships.

Clarify what you want

When you slow down to connect with the types of friends you want, you’re more likely to find them. Instead of just hoping, you need insight to be able to make a plan. If you want to have friends who love nature, join the mountain climbing or rowing, cycling … instead of going to the bar.

Say no to what you don’t want

This means saying no to friends who don’t bring you positive energy. The truth is that there are always people who make life worse for us, not willing to listen but just like to complain.

If you fill your life with such relationships, you will leave no room for relationships that can nourish you. Say what you really feel and want, staying away from anything that negatively affects you.

Give more

We are attracted to people who have a clear purpose in life. We read books and watch movies about people who dare to follow their dreams even if it means putting them at risk.

Explore more, be ready to try new things. Even if you don’t get the results you want, that effort will help you attract more people to you.

Enjoy the moments alone

We all don’t want to be with someone who is always clinging to and dependent on us. When you are always happy, love yourself, enjoy the moments alone, people will be more attracted to you.

7 ways to stay connected with others

If you want to develop and maintain deep relationships, connection is crucial. Here are the valuable lessons:

1. Understand, analyze and solve problems

We are social animals and crave connection. We want to be heard and seen, not analyzed and presented.

Don’t try to listen to understand, listen to connect more. Encourage the other person to express their feelings. Research has proven that touch is a powerful connection to letting others know that we are okay.

2. Share moments of strong connection

When faced with an intense and potentially dangerous situation, we tend to connect with each other to share, to overcome. When you go hiking together, you may get lost, but when you get back on the trail, you will laugh together when you think about the mistake you made. Those mistakes become memorable things to remind each other of that good experience and feeling.

3. Create repeatable connection rituals

When intentions are planned, it is ritual. If we don’t have positive rituals, our subconscious mind can create negative ones. When a couple meets each other every weekend, they are more excited about the weekend with relaxation and fun instead of prone to arguments. Plan activities with friends that bring people closer together.

4. Listening can be the best quality of a deep friendship

Your ability to listen allows others to delve into their own experiences. But how many people do you have who can sit with you for an hour and listen attentively? Think of listening as emotional intimacy, you’ll find it much more enjoyable.

5. Fun is the magnet that attracts people to you

Laughter is a social phenomenon that makes us more open. When we can make someone laugh, we feel happier ourselves.

We are all attracted to happy people. Don’t be afraid to act a little childish, even a little silly, don’t be afraid to say something and no one will laugh. It might make you feel bad, but everyone appreciates your taking the risk.

6. Be your own friend first

Do the above for yourself, apply the ROC formula to yourself. If you find yourself in negative emotions, find a way to release them. Change your state, move your body, accept the present state and experience, step through that emotion. When people feel how you take care of themselves, they will trust you more.

7. Give without caring about being reciprocated

Give precious gifts, live openly and don’t be afraid to get hurt. Give someone a compliment even if it doesn’t benefit you. Compliment the girl at the cashier that she looks great in that outfit. When giving becomes a habit, you will increasingly attract others.

To have good friends in life, first be a good friend to others. Take risks when others do not dare, live true to your heart. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes or dare to step out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in new situations, it may be a little scary at first, but you will have more and more valuable experiences.