Children lying on the floor, screaming and crying… is a way of expressing anger when their needs are not met, according to expert Le Phuong Vinh.
Taking her two-year-old child to the amusement park, when it was time to return, Khanh Phuong (30 years old, HCM City) was confused when the boy was having fun, suddenly lying on the floor crying loudly, struggling, when his mother called back.
Mr. Le Phuong Vinh, director of the representative office of the Vietnam Montessori Institute, said that these situations are often interpreted by parents as abusive behavior. .
Anger is not intentional. It is a phenomenon that occurs when children receive “no” answers from adults leading to frustration and sadness. Anger is a result, not a purposeful action.
Lying down crying, struggling is a common reaction of children when they are disappointed or upset about something. Illustration: The Asian Parents.
Analyst, the two-year-old boy cried because he was engrossed in the game when his mother suddenly interrupted him, without psychological preparation. When meeting the child’s resistance, parents often feel embarrassed in front of the crowd and tend to: Agree with the child’s request to quell the crying or yell, threaten, leave.
“Both of these ways are wrong because when children see you giving in, they will understand that just crying and getting angry can change the adult’s decision. The anger that has no purpose at first will become Yelling or leaving can cause psychological damage, low self-esteem, and even unsafety for the child, “said Vinh.
In fact, this is very easy to solve by notification. For example, taking the child to the park, the parents say: “We will play here for an hour”. When it’s almost time to end, parents remind, notify their children, can emphasize their children play one more time and then they will return. Advance notice will help children prepare psychologically and cooperate more easily.
In case the child has been notified but still does not return, the parents will explain the end of the playtime, providing two options: one is the child to go home by himself, the other is the parent to help the child return (carry the child); Along with making choices, parents announce that next time they will not take their children out again because they do not follow the rules. Note, parents need to be consistent in doing what they said, that is, the next time the child goes out on a regular basis, they will not let the child go, repeating it again so that the child understands the reason.
“At this point, children can react, but they will learn the cause-and-effect lesson: if you don’t follow your promise, you won’t be able to go out again,” the analyst said.
Whenever a child has a tantrum, parents should be present, keep a calm mood, help children name feelings and suggest solutions. For example, a parent might say, “I know you’re upset and angry about this and you’re upset. I’m here to listen to you cry, when you’re calm, let’s talk.”
Gradually, when parents build a good habit of informing (before leaving, about to return), providing choices (children go home or parents support), show listening when children express emotions, Children will reduce the intensity of opposition, happily accept the cessation of play to go home.
Mr. Vinh emphasized, the results are the same, but the causes are different. Like the story above, children cry because they have to stop playing their favorite game. But there are many other causes for children to get angry, even being too tired, too hungry, favorite items in the wrong place, changing caregivers… So to address and prevent anger in For children under 3 years old, parents need to properly understand anger, calmly consider the reasons for appropriate behavior, and promptly appease the child.
To prevent tantrums, experts suggest that parents establish consistent daily routines that help children anticipate what might happen next, stay calm, and enjoy life.
More importantly, parents need to observe their children to promptly detect signs of children’s needs, have a backup plan (when going out, going away)… to avoid situations of extreme hunger, Tired of being too sleepy…
In relationships with children, it is necessary to set appropriate limits and always adhere to them. Parents need to announce all actions in advance and encourage children to communicate to express what they want to say, provide children with choice, and avoid situations that cause anger.
“Overcoming negative emotions and anger is an important skill that children can only acquire after a period of practice and practice,” Vinh said.
Tran Minh
at Blogtuan.info – Source: vnexpress.net – Read the original article here
