Common Mistakes

1. Make extreme decisions

When you find out you’ve been cheated on, it’s natural to feel pain, frustration, or disappointment. That can cause you to make impulsive actions or decisions like asking for a divorce, “he eats fried rice and spring rolls” or kicks your partner out of the house. Take a deep breath as these thoughts pop into your head.

Even when you are back together, don’t rush to make any quick decisions regarding children, house or money aspects. Any quick decision can have consequences. Give yourself and your partner time to heal and evaluate your feelings objectively. The period immediately following mediation is filled with suspicion, so it’s best to postpone important decisions.

2. Seeking revenge

Most experts say that there are four to six stages of physical recovery that a person goes through when betrayed. Explore the love affair, grieve it, learn to accept and analyze the situation, and ultimately, reconnect. However, while each stage is difficult and has its own set of challenges, try and exercise restraint so as not to harbor the intention of revenge. At every stage – be it anger, grief, or as you learn more details about your relationship – you may be tempted to hurt your partner the way you have been hurt. You may even think of “grandpa eats spring rolls” but know that such thoughts are self-destructive. Forgiveness in relationships is difficult, but it is the only way to save a marriage.

3. Paranoia if they cheat again

One of the most common mediation mistakes to avoid is being overly suspicious of the other party. If you’ve decided to forgive, trust them. Paranoia about the possibility of them cheating again will get you nowhere, and even make the situation worse.

4. Don’t Set Boundaries

Talk openly about your needs and fears to define boundaries. Let them know what you can and what can’t. So if you’re uncomfortable with your husband’s tendency to flirt with any pretty woman he meets, or if you don’t like the way your wife behaves after a few drinks, don’t hesitate to say so. straight out. Not setting boundaries in a relationship is probably one of the reasons things go wrong, so don’t make that mistake again. This is an important step in healing after an affair.

5. Blame yourself and feel guilty

One of the other mistakes is blaming yourself and starting to feel guilty about whatever happened. Don’t allow the cheater to irritate you or affect your self-esteem by bullying you. To save a marriage that is on the verge of breaking up, stand up strong and see everything as it is.

6. Bringing children into arguments

Being unfaithful can be difficult for everyone, but never make the mistake of bringing your kids into the mix. Sometimes, when the affair is discovered, and you do not want to let go of your partner, you tend to bring your children to keep the relationship.

Some people even punish their spouses by refusing to raise their children or threatening to embarrass them in front of their families. These are all acts of revenge and will not help you improve your marriage. It’s best to separate the kids from the problem the two of you are having.