Should children be praised for their intelligence?

In 1968, Harvard University psychologist Robert Rosenthal performed a famous experiment at an elementary school in San Francisco. He entered a regular class, picked a few random names, and told the principal that these children were very smart. The principal gave the list to the homeroom teacher. Eight months later, when Rosenthal and his assistant returned, the scores of the students on the list increased dramatically.

The secret is simple: Teachers pay more attention to them. The children did not know that they were rated “smart”, but received more attention and appreciation from the teacher.

This demonstrates, encouragement, appreciation, encourage teachers for their students, whether good students or weak students, bring really positive results for those students.

“The essence of education is to encourage, to encourage, to awaken,” Rosenthal once said. Those who know how to cheer and motivate students will succeed.

Philosopher John Dewey once said, “The deepest desire and drive in human nature is the hope that one’s self-importance is important.” Therefore, forming the habit of using the art of praise and encouragement at the right time to make people around them feel that they are important can help them tend to display good behaviors, maintain social relationships. In a positive society, each person in that connected circle can feel the meaning and happiness of life more.

However, how to praise and encourage properly, not all parents know.

Dr. Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, USA conducted a study with 400 high school students. In the tests, Ms. Dweck asked the children to complete some relatively easy matching sentences, then randomly classified them into two groups. The first group was praised for their innate intelligence, the second group was praised for their effort.

Then each child was tested one more time, but this time they were allowed to choose between a difficult task and an easier one. 90% of children who were praised for their effort chose the difficult test. Meanwhile, the majority of children praised for their intelligence chose easy lessons.

Research by psychologist Carol Dweck shows that children who are praised for “clever” often believe that each challenge they face is a test of whether they are really smart or not. Therefore, they will avoid situations where it is revealed that they do not know, so they do not want to take on new challenges and choose The easiest way for you.

In contrast, children who understand that effort and hard work are the path to mastery and growth are more likely to be open to new and more difficult challenges.

In other words, if children believe that their intelligence can be developed, rather than a fixed one, they will be better equipped to deal with obstacles.

Research by psychologist Carol Dweck can be a suggestion for parents in raising children, that is, to praise their child’s efforts and methods, not their intelligence.

The child’s talents need not be particularly emphasized, the positive attitude and hard work shown to the goal are the focus of praise. To praise a child, the first thing is to give appropriate praise, specific content, so that the child understands how well he is doing.

For example, when your child is finishing the housework, you can say to the child: “Now everything in the kitchen is neat, tidy and clean. The cabinets and the floor are also clean, sit and sit. How comfortable it is to be here. Thank you, my child, cleaning the kitchen is not an easy task, but you still do it so thoughtfully, I am very satisfied.” The mother clearly explained the things that she did well and the results of her efforts, and also expressed her gratitude to her child. This way of praising helps listeners understand what they are being praised for, feel their efforts are acknowledged and appreciated, thereby bringing true joy and meaning.

Secondly, don’t make praise a catchphrase, because it makes children feel “excessive and tasteless”, they don’t want to improve themselves anymore because they think everything they do is very good.

Third, don’t compare with others when praising. “It’s great that you beat the ABC!” The world of winning and losing is something that repeats itself. Children can’t always win, and no matter how many times they win, they need to learn how to rise.

Instead of comparing with others, compare with your child in the past. “Two months ago, I only swam a short distance, but now I have such a long one, you are so good!”

Vy Trang (According to aboluowang)