I once had an affair with a few people, should I confess to my husband?

I am not a flirty woman, nor am I the type that craves men. On the contrary, I really hate adultery, especially for women who have a decent husband and children but still have outsiders. But for some reason, I kept getting caught up in that sneaky game.

In just 2 years, I’ve dated 3 other men, the fast one took a few weeks, the long one took a few months. Some people have little love, some people are deeply emotional. The first person I betrayed was a guy “pilot” 5 years younger than me, my gym buddy. At first, I only considered him as a younger brother and friend because he was very attentive and dedicated to guiding me in practice.

Then one day, when my husband was on a business trip, he kept calling to check, slandering me that my husband was absent at the couple’s house. I feel insulted, so I have a real boyfriend so I don’t get “wrong”. So me and that “six pack” guy rushed into each other as if the first love in life, full of passion, enthusiasm. A few weeks later my husband returned, and it was time for me to say goodbye to my “pilot”.

I kept thinking that I would keep forever memories with the man outside, returning to my previous role of wife and mother. In the face of my husband and children, I also felt very remorseful, so I compensated by paying more attention and care to my husband and children. But then, I still had a second affair that lasted for several months with an old friend in college, whom I had a secret crush on throughout my student life.

The third person is a married colleague with children, I was captivated by his talent, thoughtfulness and romantic style. We secretly had an affair, but when we realized that if it lasted, it would be easy to reveal, both happily agreed to stop.

Now that I think back, I see myself as nothing, many times betraying my husband and children. Thinking back to the “crazy” moments when having an affair, I also can’t understand how I could do such embarrassing things. Many nights I silently cried, regretting what I had done.

I am afraid that my husband and children will know about it, I am afraid of divorce. But keeping it in my heart always makes me feel miserable. Should I confess everything to my husband? Will he forgive me?

(Anonymous reader)