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Parents quarrel in front of their children, what will happen to the children?

In real life, conflict is a very natural part of any relationship. Sometimes these conflicts happen in front of the children. Have you ever wondered if parents arguing like that hurt a child?

Watching parents quarrel is sure to make children sad and stressed. However, not all types of conflict are bad for children in the long run. Whether adult bickering is harmful to young children depends on the frequency, intensity, context, and even the resolution of the problem.

Negative effects of parents arguing in front of their children

1. Causes stress, increases aggression in children

Even adults get nervous when they see two people arguing. This is even worse for young children. Parents often argue, making children always in a state of depression, the stress hormone cortisol will spike.

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In the case of occasional arguments, the child’s stress level will quickly return to normal. However, when this stress occurs in excess, it disrupts the balance of cortisol, which can lead to health problems such as brain shrinkage, sleep disturbances, weakened immune system.

In addition, this is associated with an increase in neurological problems such as children with aggressive behaviors, oppositionalism, mental disorders, etc. The relationship between parents and children will also deteriorate.

2. Children tend to be violent and destructive

Witnessing parents arguing, even fighting, children will form negative emotions, tend to be violent, and behaviors such as aggression and intimidation will also increase.

Children also have many other mental health problems such as low self-esteem, depression, anger, self-harm.

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3. Children blame themselves

If conflicts in the family are not resolved well, it will negatively affect the relationship between husband and wife and children. Once the argument has no reasonable explanation, or the parent blames the child, the emotional trauma of the child grows bigger and bigger.

In one study, it was found that some children, especially boys, tend to blame themselves for being the cause of parental quarrels.

How to reduce the negative impact of arguing on children?

Parents quarreling is the source of all tension in the family and negative behaviors in children. To minimize the negative effects of arguing on children, parents need to pay attention to a few things below.

– Avoid cold war

Parents don’t have to avoid all disagreements in front of their children. In fact, there are certain benefits to having a conflict between husband and wife if it is constructive.

If parental conflict comes in the form of a cold war, it makes children feel uncomfortable and sad.

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– Maintain respect for the other party

Not every parent’s argument is bad as long as both sides still respect each other.

Suppose two children have a fight, how do you want them to deal with it. Then do exactly this the next time you have a heated argument with your partner.

Children learn from the behaviors of adults. Harsh arguments, violence, ridicule, and humiliation will create aggressive behavior in children. This inadvertently makes children understand that violence is an adult’s way of resolving conflicts.

Therefore, respecting between family members will teach children skills to resolve conflicts properly.

– Limit controversial topics

Not all controversial topics are equally uncomfortable for children.

Disagreements over finances, economics, and time management don’t affect a child’s emotions, but disagreements about parenting do, according to one study.

Parents should limit all kinds of conflicts in front of their children, if there is disagreement, the two sides need to discuss with each other in a closed room so that the child cannot hear.

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