Husband used to say harsh words

He often gets angry, bangs tables and chairs, talks loudly. After each time like that, my husband apologized, promised not to do it again, but a few days later, he got sick again.

Dear Ms. Thanh Tam!

Sometimes, I want a divorce because I can’t stand my husband’s harsh words. Just argue a little, have an unsatisfactory opinion, he is ready to say that I am not good. Basically, my husband is a responsible person, making good money because his job is relatively stable. The only bad point in him is that he speaks without thinking, his cynical words hurt others. This makes me very inhibited, not only talking about my wife but also my children.

One day, when the child was sick, her husband not only did not help her take care of the child, but also reproached: “There is only one thing to do to take care of the child’s health, but he can’t do it, it’s useless!”. Thanh Tam try to think, does anyone want their child to get sick? Every time my child has a fever, I can’t sleep at night, touching my forehead, then taking my temperature, giving me a fever reducer and then wiping my sweat… The husband saw his wife turbulent, still annoyed and said: “There, give me that. save the sin of letting it get sick!”. After that, when I cried a lot, he got angry again, shouting loudly: “Shut up, don’t cry!”… I was tired so it was new, but normally I am very good. I told him to calm down, but my husband turned to criticize me.

When my husband gets hot, he often says insulting words, making me really hurt, although every time I argue, I still say it softly. He often gets angry, bangs tables and chairs, talks loudly. After each time like that, my husband apologized, promised not to do it again, but a few days later, he got sick again. I have chosen many times when my husband is happy to give advice, try to be harmonious and restrained. But when he’s happy, he smiles and nods, apologizes profusely, after encountering problems, he still gets angry and says such thorny words. Sometimes my husband and I argue for a week just because we can’t stand each other. I feel hurt and tired.

Of course, besides that bad point, my husband also has a few advantages. Despite his bad words, her husband takes good care of the children, teaches them to study, play with and often talks with them. In addition, he always supports his wife in work, is ready to do housework, and takes care of children when she is busy. Maybe it’s because of those times that I calm down after many stressful arguments.

Outsiders probably can’t imagine that my husband is such a rude person. Because he is a very good outsider, he is always polite, enthusiastic and sociable with everyone. Sometimes, I just need you to talk to my wife in a kind and gentle way, if she does something wrong or has wrong thoughts, you gently suggest, I will try to absorb. But your rudeness and grumpiness make me angry and think about divorce many times. Am I too perfectionist, Ms. Thanh Tam? What should I do to help my husband improve this bad habit?

Thu Hang (Ha Nam)

Hello!

Indeed, no one wants to hear such words. And everyone has advantages and disadvantages, it is difficult to be perfect. But I need to have a serious talk with my husband to figure out how to improve the situation, not just saying and apologizing like that. For example, the warning signs to let your husband realize he is being too talkative and stop. Or how her behavior at that time can calm her husband’s temper… Changing a habit takes time, hot-tempered and grumpy needs patience. But I believe that the love, constructiveness and determination of you and your wife will repel rude words.

According to Vietnamese Women