Amy Duong is a successful entrepreneur, as well as an overseas Vietnamese writer in Canada. Even though he has lived abroad for many years, he always turns his heart to Vietnam with meaningful community projects.
In everyday life, you are the one woman wholeheartedly for his family, with a foreign husband and a 6 year old son. Amy Duong once wanted to be a mother so much that she decided to get married while still enjoying a free life. She and her husband experienced many ups and downs during their first child-rearing years, as they were able to adapt to life after taking on a new position. Now, they have found a common voice, developing the perfect home together.
Amy Duong’s house.
After years living in Canada, would you like to share some details about your family life abroad?
I was born and raised in Vietnam. At the age of 23, after graduating from university, I went to study in Canada. My husband is of European descent, he was born in a small Canadian province and came to Vancouver at the age of 24. My son is now 6 years old. The whole family lives in Vancouver. My wife and I do real estate and a few other odd jobs. We are also active in education and psychology.
Do you want to share about your love story? Why did you decide to get married?
My wife and I met when we were learning Salsa dance, we were in the same class, but we didn’t talk much or be overly impressed with each other. Only 2 years later, we met again at a Salsa party, he invited me to dance and have known each other ever since.
Abroad, people often assume the man is her suitor. However, in the case of my wife and I, I was the first to apply. I was 35 years old at the time and felt like having children. Actually, if it weren’t for the desire to have children, I wouldn’t have married because I was still dating and having fun, living a happy and comfortable life, flying free, having lovers but being free, everyone in his own place, rich in money. I have a lot of friends, so I don’t need to get married.
But I wanted to have children, so I got married. Two people were lying on the bed when I said: “I think we should get married.” He looked at me and said “Did you just propose to me?” but i saidNo, you still have to have the ring and kneel down to properly propose to me. ”
Before his wife’s very “quality” proposal, how did the husband propose to her?
A few weeks later, he took me to a ring shop to pick. My ring is custom designed. The jeweler who made this ring made a ring for a princess in France, which is quite famous. I chose the model, he ordered. He took the ring and tried to propose the most unexpected way, also knelt down to exchange the ring and asked: “Will you marry me?”
How did his son come to his family? Is a baby in the couple’s plans?
Like I said, I married because I wanted to have children. Having a child for sure. However, it was very rare for me to get pregnant on our wedding night. After the wedding night, for about 1-2 weeks, I felt that my body was different, so I did a pregnancy test and found that I had a real child.
As a first time mom, what was the hardest time for you?
I think everyone is like that, the first 2 months were the most difficult. My wife and I had no one to help because her parents were old, and my parents were in America. We didn’t have any helpers at that time. Here, usually only hire people to clean weekly. However, I had no intention of hiring someone to take care of the children, so I did my own research. The first 2 months were very stressful, husband and wife fought continuously, after that it was easier.
Many women often fall into postpartum depression. Does the stress of raising children affect your mood and your marital relationship?
I experienced postpartum psychological effects such as being easily sad, angry, irritable, irritable, stressed, hormonal changes. However, I don’t think I have depression. Because in my opinion, depression is a feeling of not wanting to live, a feeling that life is too heavy, such as being continuously submerged in water, unable to breathe, unable to stand up. I didn’t go through these things but I was under a lot of stress.
After the baby was born, my relationship with my husband was very bad. We are not mentally ready for new responsibilities that we have never experienced. My wife and I had a hard time adjusting to our new life, having a baby who was crying and demanding attention. Of course I was psychologically affected by the hormonal changes after giving birth. Husbands are also stressed, men actually have feelings. The two emotions collided and exploded.
You and your wife are stressed, do you have conflicts in parenting?
When I have a baby, I want my husband and I to share the work. I want you to wake up, change diapers, nurse. However, if my husband stays up late at night, doesn’t go to sleep right away, the next day he’s like a Zombie, with no energy to function.
After arguing for a while, I realized that staying up late at night didn’t affect me much, but it was really hard on him. So I stay up at night to look after the kids, my husband looks after the morning so his wife can make up for it. With that deal, things got better. However, when the baby was small, the husband looked confused and didn’t know what to do. He doesn’t help his wife much, doesn’t like changing diapers. At that time, I was a bit sad to see other men rushing in to do things, staying up late at night to look after the children to help their wives. My husband refused to share with me, so it deepened, the relationship between husband and wife was also not good.
How do you deal with the stress of first-time parenting and improve your marriage?
When the child was 3 years old, my wife and I felt lighter. I think I didn’t do much, just went with nature. As the child grows, I am less stressed, less tired, so everything is lighter. However, the marital relationship was not good, until 2 years ago, when I took a trip back inside. I know how to let go of my trapped emotions so that I can begin to listen to the other person completely and clearly. Understanding and sympathy help a couple’s relationship begin to develop.
The husband suddenly changed, into a husband and father who cares for the family. Where do you think the change came from?
My relationship with my husband has a correlation in parenting. The change comes very naturally, I think the key is not to push it, not push it or complain about it at all. When my kids were small, I complained and asked him to share the parenting, my husband and I were quite stressed and I was not happy. Until now, everything I did for you was voluntary. He became more active in this work. I think it’s an experience that many new moms like me can refer to.
How is your current husband supporting you in caring for and raising your children?
When the baby starts to get bigger, around 4-5 years old, he takes the initiative to take care of him and do many things for him. I think it all came very naturally. When the child is very small, he does not know what to do with it. However, when the child grows up, he automatically knows what to do, how to guide the child’s development. Now everything related to his son, he is the main person in charge.
For example here there is a good course for children, sometimes the first day to open the lock you have to wake up at 5 am to register, otherwise the capacity will be full. She is the one who always gets up early to register her children. He organizes programs, prepares schedules, finds children to study, takes children to school, does everything.
Now I am very happy. Many mornings I lay down until 8.9. The father and son got up early, around 06.30 – 07.00, father made breakfast for the child, prepared lunch and took the child to school. In the afternoon, I picked up my son and played with him. Life is very happy right now.
Thank you for sharing!
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Eva.vn – Read the original article here
