Married for 20 years, almost broke up because of… a pot of boiling water

A couple married for 20 years almost broke up because of a pot of boiling water.

The husband wants to drink warm water, just pour it from the thermos and let it cool. The wife said that drinking water to stay overnight is not good, only drinking water during the day. The two argued fiercely, neither one willing to give in to the other. The daughter heard her parents arguing and ran away from home.

One party insists on forcing the other party to listen to them, turning the other into what they expect, thereby forming a “knot” in the marriage.

Illustration.

Many couples argue all day long over trivial things, no one willing to compromise.

For example, there are couples who get divorced because of chopsticks. One side has a habit of throwing chopsticks on the table after eating, while the other insists to put them in the sink.

Another couple divorced just because of the sofa position in the living room. The husband wants to put the chair 20cm away from the wall while the wife insists on putting it close to the wall.

The passion in the marriage was burned little by little by repeated quarrels like this.

The results of a survey in the UK showed that 67% of newly married couples are not surprised by these clashes, sometimes even cute. But three years later, they cannot accept them again and expand the conflict with endless quarrels.

Newlyweds compliment each other three times a week on average, but three years later this frequency drops to one or nothing. At the 36th month after marriage, marital pressure reaches the highest level”, the survey stated. In other words, the passion between couples can only last up to 3 years.

A survey of 2,000 UK couples with stable marriages discovered 10 little everyday things that can lead to marital conflict:

Weight gain or inactivity (13%)

Savings (11%)

Overtime (10%)

Personal hygiene habits (9%)

Taking on too much responsibility for the spouse’s relatives (9%)

Lack of romance (8%)

Alcoholism (7%)

Snoring or varying sleep duration (6%)

sloppy (4%)

Habits of cutting nails, throwing things indiscriminately (4%)

It turns out that what makes the couple’s relationship shaken is not the irreconcilable conflicts but the petty issues. In the presence of the closest people, the self-image is not outstanding, the differences in living habits, the compromises in love affairs…

Illustration.

Imagine you and your partner are sitting at opposite ends of a long table with a hat in the center of the table. From your perspective, the hat is red. From the other half’s point of view, the hat is blue.

You cannot see the blue part and the other party cannot see the red part. If asked to describe what they see, their answers will certainly be different. If both are stubborn with their views, there will be conflicts. In fact, in marriage, there are not necessarily right and wrong people, only those who hold, who let go, who are in harmony or not in harmony.

Many times, there is no right or wrong in a marriage, only trade-offs. People who are obsessed with right and wrong often lose their happiness.

So do you want you to be right, or happy? We are not obligated to change the other person, nor do we force the other person to change, you can only change yourself to get along.

The mistake of many people is that in order to have harmony, husband and wife must be alike. However, husband and wife are not two friends of the same sex, but two people of the opposite sex – a man and a woman. Those two are never the same, only harmony can happiness.

According to giadinhonline.vn