14 years of marriage, 1 year of divorce and 5 lessons women need to keep in mind before getting married-Young

To avoid making mistakes in marriage, one of the best ways is to learn from the experiences of those who have gone through the breakup.

Learning from the failures of others is the best way to keep your marriage strong. (Illustration)

There are many reasons leading to divorce, if the reason and solution is not found, divorce is just the beginning, not the end of a problem. Life will still be bad if the problems keep reoccurring, whether you’re single or remarried.

If you want to improve and change your life after a divorce, the best way is to recognize the mistakes in your previous marriage. The following is the confession of a woman who has been through a marriage for 14 years but divorced for 1 year. The lessons that she shares are extremely valuable, whether you are not married or are in a perfect marriage, the following 5 things are still very interesting.

1. Not living with in-laws

You don’t have to have your own home to qualify to live on your own. Even if you live in a rented house, you should still insist on not living with your husband’s parents.

The gap between two generations is very large, between people, there will always be conflicts that are difficult to avoid. From time immemorial, conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been an eternal topic. If there is not enough tolerance for each other, living together only leads to conflicts that accumulate every day.

If you live separately, you will see the good sides of each other, but when living together, there are some very trivial things that make both parties uncomfortable and lead to quarrels. The husband now standing in the middle will feel awkward when one side is his wife and the other is his mother.

Don’t turn yourself into a skeptic

Wives who stay at home, stay at home, take care of children often think about, worry far away, doubt this and that. Every day at home, they worry if their husband goes out to work to meet another woman, if he comes home late from work, whether he is dating anyone. Unfounded suspicions, the habit of interrogating her husband, will certainly not be tolerated by any man.

When two people become husband and wife, seeing each other every day is enough to make the two sides gradually become boring. If at this time, the wife creates unnecessary conflicts, it will make her husband feel extremely tired.

Therefore, you should think differently, let your mind be busy, not overthinking and worrying excessively. Even if married, the wife should not consider her life only around 4 walls. You should go out to beautify, socialize with friends, learn something new, make life more beautiful. At that time, you do not need to keep your husband, but your husband also automatically values ​​his wife and family more.

3. Appearance attractiveness is always important

If the wife indulges herself, her hair falls out of wine, her body is messy, and her clothes are rumpled, the husband will gradually lose interest in his wife. When a husband no longer pays attention to his wife, their hearts will also gradually drift away. Even if the novelty is gone in your marriage, you’re still physically attractive to him, it’s a good idea to polish yourself up.

Don’t think that once you’re married, you don’t need to care about your appearance. If you don’t love yourself, there’s no reason for anyone else to love you the way you did in the first place.

One thing you need to remember, for most men, sexual attraction is always their number 1 priority. You should never use it to punish your husband.

4. Financial autonomy

It is a fact that, in this life, if you want to be respected by others, it is best not to depend on them.

You can rely on a man but can’t lose yourself, becoming an accessory in his life altogether. If you don’t remember this, you won’t be taken seriously by men.

No one can take care of you for the rest of your life, even if it is your husband and children. Only when you rely on yourself, be financially independent, and constantly grow, will you feel safe in your old age.

In essence, husband and wife is also a partnership and team relationship, no one wants to continue dragging their feet forward with someone who can only rely on them all the time.

5. Never be too nice to your husband

This is a matter of human nature. When you’re too nice to someone, over time, they’ll take it for granted. Unless it is always possible to treat her husband well, if there is only one bad thing, the husband will immediately deny all the good things of his wife.

In addition, when you are too nice to men, they will also exaggerate their own expectations of you.

You love your husband too much, he will rely on this love to do whatever he wants. This obviously goes against your original intention.

In short, if you want your marriage to be good and complete, always keep in mind the above 5 things, which are valuable lessons from those who have experienced it.