Subtraction – rules for having quality friends

For quality relationships, boldly do the appropriate “subtraction” for the circle friend based on the following four rules.

1. Always be equal, don’t hold back

In Flaubert’s famous novel “Madame Bovary”, the character Emma, ​​after attending a lavish ball with her husband, aspires to become a member of the elite. She borrowed 8,000 francs to buy jewelry, hoping to turn herself into a lady. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t reach the upper class. She was gradually shunned by everyone.

An American sociologist pointed out that: “All relationships between individuals are essentially exchange relationships. The nature of society is equal exchange. Want to interact with others. good people, you have to be good first”.

In any circle of connections, attention should also be paid to self-worth and identity. Even if you try to appear regularly in a community, that does not mean that you are qualified to communicate and compete with people in that community.

Knowing a lot of people can be helpful for life, but don’t forget you don’t necessarily have to be friends with someone just for the sake of connecting with them. True friends are people who can make you a better person, support your personal development, and vice versa.

2. Not close enough, not strong enough

In fact, a relationship, no matter how good, will fade over time. When each person has different lives and experiences, it is difficult to have a common theme every time we meet. Video calls and text messages also became sparse and silence began to appear. The bond that you once thought “strong forever” can be broken in no time.

You should see among your friends, who is important and meaningful to you to narrow down your friends list. Don’t forget that there are friends who think they are friends, but they can be enemies. This type of friend may outwardly praise and encourage you to succeed, but in reality, behind your back, they will speak ill of you and envy your achievements.

3. Negative energy, should be avoided

Recently on Chinese Q&A site Zhihu, there was a question: “When do you decide to end a relationship?” The best answer is: “When the energy this relationship gives me is much less than it consumes”.

The person who answered this question shared more about his story. Not long ago, she had to block a friend’s social media account. “For the past half year, she has complained to me every night about family problems. Sometimes her husband is drunk and refuses to come home or when he comes back, he drags on the sofa. Even during working hours, she is constantly lament,” the person said. It was the negative energies of the friend that affected the girl. She is easily irritable and cannot control her emotions when she encounters unpleasant things.

This also confirms the “law of emotional transfer” in psychology, that a person’s emotions and those around them will affect each other. Surrounding yourself with people full of “negative emotions” usually won’t end well.

4. Be careful when choosing friends

Former President of the United States, Lincoln once said: “In a sense, what kind of friends you choose, you choose that kind of life.” Therefore, a person’s personality, outlook on life and career are more or less influenced by friends. The people you make friends with will determine who you will be in the future.

Two years ago, the “Amazing Dorm” program of Nantong University, Jiangxi Province became a hot search term on the internet in China.

Ten students living in the same dormitory of the university all have excellent academic results: All 10 have studied for a master’s degree. To get such results is really not easy. The secret of these 10 friends is that whenever they have free time, they organize self-study English sessions with all four skills, listening, speaking, reading and writing right at the dormitory. In addition, everyone will share experiences and exchange learning methods with each other. Whenever someone is lazy, the rest will encourage and remind.

“Living and studying in an environment full of excellent people, you will naturally become an excellent person,” said Du Min Hong, founder of the famous Chinese education group New Dongfang. At the same time, he further explained: “Along with disciplined people, you will become positive. With excellent people, you will become extraordinary”.

When they were young, many people were sloppy in their friendships. But when they grow up, they need to understand that only two or three friends are soulmates. Therefore, it is advisable to give up unequal relationships, non-contact friends or people who only bring negative energy. That way, you will have quality friends.

Vy Trang (According to aboluowang, sohu)