Frustrated because the wife solicited sex but the husband ignored it

My husband and I live a happy life, he is always the proactive one in the sexual relationship. That day, when my husband returned from a long business trip, I eagerly prepared to welcome him. That night I prepared the most beautiful things to have a perfect love after many days of separation.

But as soon as he touched the husband, he was tired. He pushed my hand away and said “I’m so tired” and then fell asleep. I feel touched by self-esteem. For the first time, I felt so insulted. I suspect my husband is having an affair. I cried without you knowing. From that day on, I also embargoed my husband’s sex. Am I doing it right?

Thuy Mai (27 years old, Hoang Mai, Hanoi)

Doctor Hanh Phuc replied:

“Embargo” is the most disadvantageous form of “punishment” for the decision maker himself. It was never the recommended form of expressing anger. Give up this form immediately if you still love your husband and want to keep the family. Sex should always be kept separate from unrelated reasons.

Back to the story of you being hurt because your husband is indifferent about sex. It’s because of your mentality that sex is something you “give” to your husband, not the other way around. And his refusal (though not tactfully) is immediately considered unacceptable, despite the fact that it happens a lot between couples.

Men, like women, have many moments when they don’t want to have sex.

That’s when he experiences negative emotions. At this time, different emotional states such as jealousy, anger, sadness… sometimes overwhelm desires.

If your partner has resentments, blames you… then all doors of passion and lust are almost closed! Not even wanting to communicate or exchange.

It could also be when he wants to rest after a long day of work. If he just wants to rest after coming home from work, this can cause the relationship to become alienated. What a woman needs to do right now is to let her husband know that you miss him so much.

The two of you can do something relaxing together like drinking wine, reading in bed, or watching TV. When the feeling of intimacy returns, the opportunity for “sex” will come.

He may also lose interest in sex due to her frequent rejections.

It’s not just men who drive sexual desire, it’s both!!

Your rejection can reduce desire. A lack of interest and warmth in sex can reduce feelings of eager anticipation and over time feelings of affection cool down.

Or he simply entered menopause. Menopause syndrome not only occurs in women but also in men. However, unlike women, the manifestations of “menopause” in men have not been well studied. Therefore, they do not have obvious signs when at this stage.

Jeanne O’Connell, medical director and co-founder of the Sylvana Institute of Medical Aesthetics in Frederick, Maryland (USA), as men age, they naturally experience a slight decrease in libido. That’s why sometimes you dress up attractively but still don’t make him fall in love.

You see, there are many reasons for a husband to fall into such a state. Be more sympathetic and important to have a right and equal perspective on sexual issues.

In this case, instead of trying to ignore it, talk to your husband about his feelings and sexual needs as well as yours. At the same time, you can add some foods such as mussels, oysters, quail eggs.. in his diet.